I AM PREGNANT!
Yep. It's been confirmed several times. Irony of all ironies, the very day after I wrote my last post, upon finding me hysterically emotionally compromised about my health and depression, my husband decided to take me to the urgent care clinic to see if they could figure out what was causing my ill symptoms mentioned in the previous post. Yeah, even now when I read them I crack up. It's not like I didn't know they could be pregnancy symptoms. In fact, I actually mentioned it to my husband that if I didn't know better I'd think I was pregnant! But of course I thought I knew better. I actually looked up chronic nausea online to see what could be wrong with me and had to wade through the loads of pregnancy references to see what else it could be. I never thought in a million years that I could actually be experiencing morning sickness!!!!!!! WHAT THE HECK!??????????? And how in the HELL did this happen?!??! Yeah, I still can't believe it. It was totally natural and unplanned. After 9 years of trying everything under the sun to get pregnant, I was shocked out of my pants to discover that during the month my husband came down with pneumonia and both of us were sick as dogs, we had a couple of sleepless nights and managed to conceive a child by complete fluke!!!
The experience at the urgent care clinic was one memory I won't soon forget. We walked in there nervous and thinking I'd have to really defend my claims of symptoms and try to convince the doctor that it wasn't all in my head--at least I really hoped it wasn't. I knew I would have to first rule out the possibility of pregnancy, but I was prepared to prove them it wasn't as "simple" as that. Nervously, I took my husband in the room with me so he could help explain what was going on. Sure enough, they decide to give me a urine test and like a good sport I played along. I told the nurse we'd been trying for 9 years, so I sincerely doubt I'm pregnant, although that would be amazing. I was sitting on the little exam table waiting for the doctor to return when my nurse popped her head back in the room with a big grin on her face. Strangely she was being followed by 3-4 other nurses and my doctor. I had no idea what was going on, but nothing even remotely close to what was actually happening entered my mind at that point. The nurse handed me a plastic baggie with something in it and giggled, "Happy Thanksgiving!" I looked at the item in the bag and frowned before I realized she just handed me my pregnancy test stick! I stared at it trying to comprehend what just happened and noticed the TWO lines on the little test window and my jaw dropped. "It's positive, honey!" she laughed, probably realizing I was having trouble figuring it out on my own. "WHAT!??!" I shrieked when my husband jumped out of his seat to run to my side and see it. "HOW!?" he shouted in disbelief. The nurses just gave him a funny look. Then both of us just looked at each other, laughed and started bawling our heads off. We hugged and hugged. It was the most amazing moment I've ever experienced. No offense, lovey, but I'm quite positive it even topped my engagement proposal by a long shot! I am so happy my husband was there with me! After the initial shock (even though it was still there) they gave me a confirming blood draw to get my hCG levels and then sent me over to the hospital to get an ultrasound where we saw our little 7 week 4 day old baby, heart beating away in my uterus, completely clueless to the outside world and our enormous struggles to create it. It was absolutely the most amazing thing I've ever seen, and I was so amazed at it I even made my ultrasound tech cry. We got several print outs of our baby that the tech titled "Baby Dellosa", oblivious to our blog of the same name and it made us rather emotional. The next day, my parents came for thanksgiving at our house which I believe I mentioned I was hosting this year and we sprung the news on them at the table and then later called Mike's parents in California to let them all know too. It was an amazing day...
A month later, it's Christmas Eve and I am nearly 12 weeks along already. I have been to my first prenatal appointment, had a 2nd ultrasound and got to see the baby bouncing around in my uterus and actually hear the heartbeat this time. My uterus is growing nicely, says the doctor, and everything is looking great. I'm filling out in my belly area as well as my chest area, unfortunately (never thought I needed bigger breasts than the ones I already possessed, but this baby has other plans). The worst part, the morning sickness (which, my friends, is 24 hour sickness) is still an active part of my daily life, although I think I see the light at the end of the tunnel. It could be tapering off, and I hope so, because it is by far the worst thing I have ever endured (illness-wise). But the mere fact that I know what is causing it is comforting. I can't say I haven't complained to my husband about it a few times, but every time I do it does make me feel guilty. You have to remember, hormones are flying and I'm gonna feel huge ups and downs, and I truly have. Even though I have been enduring this for nearly 3 months now, it's still ridiculously amazing to me that I am carrying a baby inside me. I feel like this is all a big insane dream. I don't believe it, even when I am getting up at 3am to go to the bathroom or get a fruit cup (my favorite midnight snack) to feed this surprisingly hungry 2 inch child.
This just goes to show each one of you infertile couples in the world that there will be a day when all of that will come to a crashing, explosive end and you will be jerked from one extreme to the other. Infertility to Pregnancy just like that! I'm still blown away by it, but here I am, the very thing I despised just a day earlier: a pregnant woman. It's not an easy transition, I have to admit. I am still annoyed by people who could easily get pregnant and tell me not to worry about this or that. It's easy for them to say, I think. THEY didn't take 9 years getting pregnant! Pregnancy is terrifying. I'm trying to relax and just know that this baby and my body have no idea I've been trying that long, so my pregnancy is probably just as stable as the woman who washed her underwear with her partner's and conceived by accident. Of course I'm trying to remain calm, but this is all so new and scary and unbelievable, I think anything could go wrong! I've never wanted anything so much in my life, and the feeling that I've actually accomplished this feat is just still shocking, but I've replaced this desire to achieve pregnancy with the desire to successfully complete the pregnancy. The day I'm holding my precious little creation in my arms is the day I will celebrate. We hear this day should be somewhere around July 8, 2011. :D !!!!
