Pregnancy the second time is very much the same as the first, in that most of my symptoms are identical, but other than that, it's a whole new experience. When I got pregnant with my daughter over 4 years ago, it marked the end of a near decade long trial with infertility. She was a miracle to us, and all who were close to us. Everyone knew how special and amazing it was for me just to be pregnant. My husband treated me like royalty, pampering and limiting my activities so that I wouldn't overdo it. He cooked and cleaned and took care of the pets for me, and was constantly present, feeling my belly and kissing me. When our daughter finally made her debut, on the 4th of July to top it off, everyone was thrilled. She was a princess, and I, her mommy, the queen.
Finding myself pregnant for the second time, I expected a little more than I actually got. See, pregnancy is old news when you've already been through it. Of course people are initially happy for you, but it isn't the screeching fireworks celebration like the first time. I got mixed feelings that there were actually a few people who were disappointed that we were going to have another baby. Not everyone congratulated us on Facebook as they had done before. But most especially notable was my ongoing treatment of my pregnancy this time. I have basically been ignored. Second pregnancies don't get the royal treatment, not even by the husband. He rarely even glimpses at my growing belly on a daily basis, let alone caresses or talks to it. And the only kiss I ever get is a habitual goodbye peck in the morning before he heads to work. It's not that he isn't happy I'm pregnant, he's just used to it and as a veteran father, knows the drill. He doesn't, however, realize how much I crave his affection, compliments and reassurance because I feel like a hippo. Just one "you're the most beautiful pregnant woman in the world!" comment from him would perk me up for the rest of the pregnancy and beyond! But second time pregnancies are not celebrated like that. With my first, I had two different baby showers. With the second, none. And in fact, despite announcing that it's going to be a boy this time, and not having any boy stuff, we made a baby registry and sent it out to both our families, only ONE gift has been purchased for us so far. And the baby is due only a month from now. It looks as though we are on our own this time. The only thing is, I'm not sure if it's because people don't like me now, or just because second pregnancies aren't as exciting. Whatever the reason, let me assure you it's difficult. Second time pregnancies are more difficult not only because of that, but because you are already a parent, and financially struggling as it is when a second pregnancy comes along. Parenting is a full time job, and one you didn't have the first time you were pregnant. With little to no person willing to help us, having a new baby is going to be challenging. We dwell in a live and let live kind of society these days, so forget about having a village to support you and your husband's tough transition into having a new child. You're on your own this time!
